GIVING THANKS!

As we gathered around our Thanksgiving table, at San Elijo State Beach, Sean turned to me and said, "You pray." I hesitated, a moment, and then turned it back to him. Later, I knew I I needed to respond. Here is my prayer, for all of you, my circle of friends, family, and those I have not even met yet:

Father, God in Heaven, thank you so much for loving each one of us and providing for all of our needs. We all have experienced difficult times in our lives. We have all felt empty, lost, and alone. However, through each of these times, you have taught us, encouraged us, and loved us through them. Just as the rain poured out on us this week, off and on, you then opened the sky with your beautiful sun and filled out hearts, to over-flowing, with grace, joy, peace and love. Thank you for the food you provide and the hands we are holding. Amen!

As I opened my eyes, EVERYONE had a patch on their eye. I was so touched as it made me realize...

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I LOVE YOU JESUS!

God bless each of you with His love and joy.

Hugs,

Laura

We have a plan!

"Life is a series of choices. Today yours are good ones."

This quote came from my Pei Wei Restaurant's Chinese fortune cookie a few hours after meeting with the surgeons. I was given the choice to 1) do nothing but "monitor" the tumor, 2) radiation, or 3) surgery. Despite the fact that the "choice" was a bit of a "no brainer," I felt God's gentile hand on my heart reminding me He is near.

Another interesting twist to this day was waking up, the morning of the appointment, with a date stuck in my head: December 17th. Talking to the surgeons, I expressed a desire to get this going as quickly as possible. The doctors noted that it usually took about 2 months to book, but they, too, had some seasonal cancellations. Dr. Cueva checked their schedule, turned the calendar to Dr. Mastrodimos, who nodded and said, "How about December 17th?" I instantly knew that was to be the day and exclaimed, "WOW, I dreamt that date last night!!!"

The best news was when I was told to stop the steroids! Soon I will be "me" again. I can't wait for my stretched-out, chipmunk face (no pictures please) to be restored, my super-sonic chatter mouth to be stilled, and my mind and body to be re-connected. It will take about 12 days to wean me off.

I will spare you the details of the surgery only to say they will be going in from the side, near my temple. It will take about 5 hours as the lemon-sized tumor that I have been likely carrying around for over 10 years (the doctors are quite certain this is a benign tumor), has met and embraced my carotid artery just to make the surgery a bit more interesting. It is wonderful to know that my team of surgeons are Kaiser's "special A team" who get most of Kaiser's brain tumor patients shipped to them from all over the country. I am in good hands.

It is also wonderful to know that God's little messages to me, through a cookie and a dream, remind me that I am really in Good Hands!

Embraced by Grace and still dancing in La Mesa,

Laura

MAGIC GLASSES!

Just like the bottled water and cup of soup, from the Doubletree Hotel, God continues to pour out his grace and provide for me in an amazing way. Thursday I had my ophthalmologist appointment. Yes, he confirmed, I was seeing double! However, there is no way of knowing how the tumor is impacting the vision until the surgery is over. In the meantime, the doctor referred me to Vanessa. It was 3 PM when Bob and I attempted to make an appointment with Vanessa. The first available was December 19th and the second available was January 5. But WAIT! Look! She had a cancelation TODAY. Do you want a 4:15 appointment at Vandevere??? YES!!!!

What does Vanessa do? She measures eyes to fit for a prism. Apparently, one of the muscles in my left eye is weak (likely because of the tumor) and is elevated. This means my brain is seeing two separate images (double vision). A prism, over one eye, can trick my weak eye into seeing the same image as my strong eye. Unbelievable! Even more unbelievable, Vanessa has been taking Thursday’s off, for vacation, for several weeks, but, today, she had several urgent patients and decided to come in. One of her patients cancelled their 4:15 appointment! After measuring me for the prism, and seeing the urgency, she contacted another lab tech to see if he could stick around and fit me with the prism, which is merely a film over a regular pair of glasses.

At 5:45 PM, with my eyes fully dilated (from my first appointment), and no contact lens in my right eye (for distance) I walked out of the office with a pair of Magic Glasses!! The double vision was gone, but, because my eyes were dilated and no contact lens, I had no idea what I was going to see.

Friday morning @ 6 AM—I CAN SEE! Single vision! Close up! Far away! But, wait, don’t move my eyes off the center part of my magic glasses or the world becomes a kaleidoscope again. I must confess, throughout the day, I discovered the magic glasses will take some time getting used to, but I am up for the challenge!

Next stop…November 25 @ 10 AM…Our visit with the surgeons. In the meantime, I will be on vacation, all Thanksgiving week, giving thanks to the Lord who has provided for me in such an amazing way.


Dance with me,

Laura

WALK WITH ME.

I am sitting in my hotel room, at the Doubletree Hotel in Denver North, after an hour workout, on the treadmill, at midnight, to help “regulate” my body from the affects of the medication I am on. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the way God is meeting my needs as well as how he is using me to speak to others. This is my favorite hotel, as I have experienced God meeting my needs in the most insignificant but powerful way. Last time I was here, I had a very bad cold, and, out of the blue, I found a grocery bag on my door with a cup of soup and other cold remedies. I never asked for these items, from the hotel, but the hotel shuttle driver overheard my “need” and responded. This trip, 2 bottles of water appeared, magically, in my room, both days. Water I did not order, or pay for, but was given to me to meet my need during my midnight runs on the treadmill. God is truly my portion. It is the little things that speak loudly to our hearts.

It is interesting how we first respond to potentially life changing news. We explore our faith, our relationships, and our finances, not necessarily in that order. My first reaction was to send out pink slips, right away. The first went to the house cleaner, the second to the trainer, the third to the newly hired aquarium cleaner. We couldn’t send a notice to our gardener, because Bob the Builder, Bob the Makeup Artist, is still Bob the Gardener! The night we arrived home, on the last day of our house cleaning, we realized how important she is to us. Not just because she leaves our house sparkling, but because she is a part of our “house.” We immediately withdrew the pink slip!

My second wake up call is to keep moving! The medication I am on is in preparation for surgery. It has amped me up to become a super-sonic chatter box. It also has some toxic affects on my system. After a 30 minute run on the treadmill, to fight back the “body attack,” I realized giving the trainer his pink slip was also a mistake! God reminded me I must continue to care for this body and not let it down! Walk, stretch, exercise, and drink your water! At work we have a group called Fit Together. We meet once a week, for 15 minutes. We have 2 teams, a list of healthy living items, and earn points for each item we accomplish each day. At the end of 6 weeks the losing team washes the winning team’s cars. God’s message to you, and me, is to put on your running shoes and start moving! Take care of your body, eat right, exercise, and stretch. WALK WITH ME ON THIS JOURNEY. If you want a copy of our “Fit Together” list, you can e-mail Dianne (DShapiro@squiresbelt.com) and she will be happy to forward you a copy of the spreadsheet.

God’s message to me, and to you, is that He will see all of us through whatever trials we face, no matter how large or how small. We merely need to trust Him. Are you facing the possibility of losing your job, your house, a marriage? Are you facing a physical scare? How will you handle these challenges? Will you be “self-reliant” or possibly let “The Lord himself... fight for you; you only have to keep still.” (Exodus 14:14). He will see all of you through these very difficult economic times. God will provide for you in a new, fresh and wonderful way, no matter what you are struggling with, no matter what you may have lost, no matter how large or small your trial is. You do not have to have a brain tumor to hear this message! His plan may not be the way we plan things, or in our timing, but there will always be a valuable lesson learned along the way. That is God’s grace, to meet you right where you are. “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.” (Lam. 3:24)

I have embraced the song “All The World” by Point of Grace. (Yes, Jesus gave it to me on the treadmill!) This has become the song of my heart. It is my calling, my purpose and my strength. Enjoy the song. (lyrics below). This continues to be an amazing journey filled with hope, joy, and peace. Thank you so much for your many thoughts, prayers, and messages from God. I am amazed at how little time I spend being anxious about the future. It is all about today. Live “today.”

Still Dancing,

Laura

“All The World” 

by Point of Grace

All the world is a story, all the world is a stage, all the world is a canvas, all the world is apage. All the world is a horizon, all the world is a field of dreams, all the world is an open door way, all the world is a place for me, to be your voice, to be your touch, to give an answer, to show your love. To hold out hope, to offer peace, to shine you light for everyone to see in all the world. All the world is a someone, all the world is a band, all the world is a moment, all the world is a chance to be your voice, to be your touch, to give an answer, to show your love. To hold out hope, to offer peace, to shine your light for everyone to see, in all the world. You are amazing mercy, you are undying grace, I want the world to see how wonderful you are upon my face. To be your voice, to be your touch, to give an answer, to show your love, to hold out hope, to offer peace, to shine your light for everyone to see in all the world. Be your voice, be your touch, give an answer, show your love, hold out hope, offer peace, shine your light shine for all the world.

Bob the Builder AKA Bob the Makeup Artist!

Bob learning how to properly apply.

Jamie the onlooker, cheering her dad on!

All the Squires Belt Beauties!

I am in good hands! 

Husbands, check it out! That is Bob, my husband, learning how to put on my make up. Bob has been a steadfast, caring spirit in my life. As you can imagine, this past week has been very difficult on him. Please pray that the Lord will help him to maintain his sense of humor and quick wit despite the pressures on his shoulders.

These are all the wonderful ladies at work that are teaching me to ask for help. They embraced me when I got the “call” and they have lifted me up daily.

You are all my messengers from God. Please keep listening as the Lord truly is speaking directly to me through you. For example, my small group of women, I meet with weekly, have been studying the word grace. I really have never been able to define it. This past week, I EXPERIENCED it in such a magnificent way that the need to define it has become very important to me. As we shared, April gave me the following verse:

Lamentations 3:21-26 (NIV): 

21 Yet this I call to mind 
 and therefore I have hope:

22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, 
for his compassions never fail.

23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; 
 therefore I will wait for him."

25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, 
 to the one who seeks him;

26 it is good to wait quietly 
 for the salvation of the LORD.

The lord is my portion! That is it. That is truly grace. The Lord knows what I need and He is meeting my needs, every day, by providing me just what I need. This past week, through you, I was overflowing with grace.

Thank you for taking this journey with me. Despite the circumstances, I am full of hope, joy, and peace because this has been an opportunity to be “hugged by God” through so many of you.

Still dancing in La Mesa, California.

Laura

ALL CLEAR

Dancin for JOY!!

The PET scan came back CLEAR other than the "known" tumor in my brain. This is the most wonderful news. They were unable to report whether the brain tumor is malignant but we are holding on to hope that it is a grade I benign meningioma. There is "dancing" in the Walker home. Thank you all for so many wonderful prayers and thoughts. As stated below, Bob and I will be meeting with the surgeons on November 25th to schedule and discuss the details of the surgery.

This amazing journey has already filled me with God's love and peace through each of you.

In His Grip,

Laura