As I play the song, “All The World” by Point of Grace, over and over again (full blast), I am reminded of all the times I spent on the tread mill, all the times I was filled with grace, all the times I was given strength, hope, peace, trust and joy through this journey. I have also come to realize the journey is not over…in fact, it has just begun. This song has encouraged me to be a voice, to give an answer, to shine God’s light for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE. What a privilege He gives each one of us to be a voice. As I struggled with patience, the past couple weeks, the Lord truly brought me back into focus. He reminded me that believing in Him does not guarantee freedom from pain or loss, but it does guarantee strength in my time of weakness, pain, or sorrow. It is my hope to be a “page,” for all the world, as I assemble my journey into a book. Months before I was told I had a tumor, I began writing, not realizing that this was how the Lord was preparing me for this journey. In the summer of 2008, with a small group of close friends, I confided that I felt the Lord calling me to write a book and possibly speak publicly. Today, looking back at all that has been written, all that I have learned, and looking forward to what will still be written, I am filled with joy and a purpose knowing the Lord wants me to shine His light for ALL THE WORLD TO SEE. (For all you BLOGGERS, it would make me so happy if someone knew how to put this song on my playlist, even though it is not listed in the choice of BLOG songs.)
I must share the many blessings that have poured out on me these past couple weeks. Shortly after my last post, Dave and Miriam Keesey set out to try to expedite my visit to the ophthalmologist. Dave works for Kaiser and happens to know, personally, the head of the ophthalmology department. Just 3 days after my post, I got a call from Kaiser, on January 5th, wanting to know if I could come in that same day, rather than wait until January 27th. Over the next few weeks I am getting prescription glasses, (one pair for distance and another for close up) that will be fitted with a prism. Hopefully these glasses will work better for me than my first prism glasses. In the meantime, I have devised a way to see, single vision, by putting a small piece of tape on one lens of my sunglasses. I CAN ACTUALLY DRIVE SAFELY while wearing my sunglasses. This has been a giant step forward in learning how to adapt as well as learning how to accept there are no guarantees I will regain normal vision.
The pain in my tailbone is gone. Ice and patience are beautiful things! I no longer ice to reduce the pain, I just ice as a preventative measure. For the past 3 days I have been pain free! Also, I am finally able to open my mouth wide enough to get my teeth fixed, and I am back with my Fit Together group, at work, to help encourage me to eat well and exercise often. Speaking of work, my last day of disability is Friday, January 16th, then it is off to work I go. Ready or not, here I come!!!
I owe my new patience and attitude to II Cor 12: 8-9, as I realize life is not always easy and may not always go the way I want. This verse has been a lifeline to me as it has truly given me strength in my weakness. The lesson I learned from this verse is to endure my pain, loss, frustration, anger or impatience by trusting in the Lord. When things don’t turn out, just as I hoped or prayed for, like my double vision, I will find a way to accept the circumstances and draw hope from all of God’s promises to me. No matter what the trial, God’s grace is sufficient and will provide all the strength I need to endure, and He will give me an open heart to adapt.
I am no longer slow dancing in La Mesa. I have picked up the pace and plan to stay on the dance floor for a very long time. It is my hope and prayer that you will join me and dance, long into the future, as we dance our way into eternity!
Love,
Laura
Friday, January 16, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
A PATIENT PATIENT
So many of you have called or e-mailed to see how I am doing. In the past I would have put on my “mask” and replied, “I am fine.” However, through so many lessons, these past several months, I must now confess I still need your prayers. Here is why…
Definitions:
Patient-willing to put up with waiting, pain, or anything that annoys, troubles or hurts. Enduring, calmly, without complaining or losing self control. Persevering, steady effort.
Patient-a person who is being treated by a doctor.
I get an A for being a patient-a person who is being treated by a doctor. However, I get an F+ for being patient. I got my staples out on Tuesday, Dec 29th. It went better than expected and despite some soreness/numbness in my left eye and cheek, my recovery from this surgery has been moving along quite well.
What I didn’t expect is to have some dental issues that I can not tend to, for several weeks, until I can actually open my mouth wider. I need to be patient until the chewing muscle, which was cut during surgery, heals. Consequently, if anything cold sloshes over to the left side of my mouth, I must brace myself for that lovely shooting pain from a very sensitive tooth.
Did I mention my annoyance at the extra 10 pounds I gained from my steroid trauma? Of course, due to my lack of patience, I expect and want this weight to be gone NOW. Unfortunately, I can not go back to weight training or aerobic exercise for several more weeks. Considering it has only been 2 weeks since I had major surgery…I need to be patient! In due time I will have plenty opportunity to lose the weight…
My ophthalmologist appointment is not until the end of January, so I must continue to endure my double vision. However, there has been some improvement as I have discovered a way to block out the double vision by putting a piece of tape on my glasses and sunglasses. Being the patient person I am, I will be calling, every other day, in hopes that the ophthalmologist might have a cancelation between now and the 27th.
Recently, I started to experience a sore tailbone (also known as a “pain in the butt”). I can only attribute this problem to having slept sitting up, for the first several days after surgery, putting pressure on my tailbone. Unfortunately, the pain has continued to get worse and went from intermittent to chronic. I finally e-mailed my doctor, today, to find out how I might “survive” this newest annoyance which is also testing my failed patience.
Yesterday, during one of my many “complaining” moments, unable to endure, I turned to the Lord and cried out for Him to take away the pain (yes, the one in my butt!). He turned me to II Corinthians 12: 8-9. This is where Paul writes, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I (Paul and Laura) will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I have gained a new appreciation for Paul and for those of you who have had to endure chronic pain, chronic illnesses, or painful treatments such as chemo-therapy. My “job” is to learn how to wait, trust, and rejoice in all that I am learning from this experience. As I read back through my BLOG, I am reminded of my own counsel: James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Having written this new post, I am already feeling stronger and more prepared for what lies ahead. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable. A friend recently pointed out that I am a patient person, with others, just not with myself. I know your prayers have lifted me up, for several months, and will continue to lift me up as I try not to be the over-achieving, impatient, patient that I currently am.
Slow-dancing in La Mesa! Happy New Year!
Love,
Laura
Definitions:
Patient-willing to put up with waiting, pain, or anything that annoys, troubles or hurts. Enduring, calmly, without complaining or losing self control. Persevering, steady effort.
Patient-a person who is being treated by a doctor.
I get an A for being a patient-a person who is being treated by a doctor. However, I get an F+ for being patient. I got my staples out on Tuesday, Dec 29th. It went better than expected and despite some soreness/numbness in my left eye and cheek, my recovery from this surgery has been moving along quite well.
What I didn’t expect is to have some dental issues that I can not tend to, for several weeks, until I can actually open my mouth wider. I need to be patient until the chewing muscle, which was cut during surgery, heals. Consequently, if anything cold sloshes over to the left side of my mouth, I must brace myself for that lovely shooting pain from a very sensitive tooth.
Did I mention my annoyance at the extra 10 pounds I gained from my steroid trauma? Of course, due to my lack of patience, I expect and want this weight to be gone NOW. Unfortunately, I can not go back to weight training or aerobic exercise for several more weeks. Considering it has only been 2 weeks since I had major surgery…I need to be patient! In due time I will have plenty opportunity to lose the weight…
My ophthalmologist appointment is not until the end of January, so I must continue to endure my double vision. However, there has been some improvement as I have discovered a way to block out the double vision by putting a piece of tape on my glasses and sunglasses. Being the patient person I am, I will be calling, every other day, in hopes that the ophthalmologist might have a cancelation between now and the 27th.
Recently, I started to experience a sore tailbone (also known as a “pain in the butt”). I can only attribute this problem to having slept sitting up, for the first several days after surgery, putting pressure on my tailbone. Unfortunately, the pain has continued to get worse and went from intermittent to chronic. I finally e-mailed my doctor, today, to find out how I might “survive” this newest annoyance which is also testing my failed patience.
Yesterday, during one of my many “complaining” moments, unable to endure, I turned to the Lord and cried out for Him to take away the pain (yes, the one in my butt!). He turned me to II Corinthians 12: 8-9. This is where Paul writes, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I (Paul and Laura) will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I have gained a new appreciation for Paul and for those of you who have had to endure chronic pain, chronic illnesses, or painful treatments such as chemo-therapy. My “job” is to learn how to wait, trust, and rejoice in all that I am learning from this experience. As I read back through my BLOG, I am reminded of my own counsel: James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Having written this new post, I am already feeling stronger and more prepared for what lies ahead. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable. A friend recently pointed out that I am a patient person, with others, just not with myself. I know your prayers have lifted me up, for several months, and will continue to lift me up as I try not to be the over-achieving, impatient, patient that I currently am.
Slow-dancing in La Mesa! Happy New Year!
Love,
Laura
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