Bob the Builder…Bob the Gardener…Bob the Make Up Artist… is now Bob the Patient. I really don’t know how to put into words how difficult it is to hold the hand of the one you love as he struggles through so much pain and discomfort. Just when we thought things had finally turned a corner, a new trial has exploded in our path. Just last Thursday, April 2nd, I had a wisdom tooth pulled because of a toothache that laughed at my brain tumor. One week later, the pain of my toothache was like a sleeping child compared to the distress Bob the Builder is experiencing. Bob went in for an out-patient, laproscopic hernia repair on Monday, April 6th. There were some complications that added a large incision to the 8 laproscopic incisions and put him in the hospital for a couple days. I brought him home on Wednesday only to have to deliver him back to the ER Wednesday night. As of Friday, he is still in the hospital. I won’t go into the gory details but know that he is in a lot of pain and discomfort.
This year has ignited our faith, challenged our sense of humor, and tested our patience. We have been brought to our knees so many times that Bob’s knees leave white marks on the black rubber floor where we train. I have come to respect my body of which I have taken for granted for so long. I have come to accept my responsibility to care for this uniquely created vessel. I used to measure the worth of my body by what it weighed. Today I embrace it like one embraces a new born baby…tenderly, carefully, and with determination to nourish it wisely. The treadmill has become my friend after spending so many sleepless nights running to nowhere.
Through it all, God has been our portion. He has taught me to trust Him unconditionally. Despite Sean and Brianne’s setback in baseball, He gave me a door to knock on when I needed to take Bob back to the ER in the middle of the night. Recently my growth group studied prayer in the Psalms and create “our own” prayer using the Psalms. Here is my prayer:
Dear Jesus,
I lay here on my bed remembering you. I think of you throughout the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadows of your wings (Ps 63:6-7). In the morning, you hear my voice as I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation (Ps 5:3).
I acknowledge my sin to you, Jesus...I confess my transgressions (Ps 32:5). Forgive my hidden faults. Keep me from willful sin...may they not rule over me. (Ps 19 12-13).
Recently I pleaded with you to heal me, but you reminded me that your grace is sufficient for me. Thank you for teaching me to embrace my weaknesses, hardships and difficulties. (2 Cor 12: 8-10). You turned my wailing into dancing...I will give you thanks forever. (Ps 30:11) When I am overwhelmed and desperate, you alone know which way I ought to turn. (Ps 142: 3)
I pray all my friends and family will trust you all the time. (Ps 62:8) I pray all who know your mercy, will count on you for help (Ps 9:10) as they turn to you, and they pour out their longings to you (Ps 62:8). May your face shine upon all those that do not know you that they may be saved. (Ps 80:7)
Many are the plans in our hearts, but it is Your purpose that prevails (Prov 19:21). Lord, I thank you for the plans you have for my family, for my growth group, and for my friends. (Jer 29:11) I pray we will all seek you with all our hearts (Jer 29:13)
I praise you for not rejecting my prayers or withholding your love from me (Ps 66:20). I trust you will hear me when I call to you. (Ps. 4:3) Teach me your way, O Lord, lead me in a straight path. (Ps 27:11) May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be pleasing to you (Ps 19:14)
Jesus, I love you.
Laura
I hope this Easter draws each of you closer to God. Despite anything you may be struggling through, I pray you will know and trust a God that loves you unconditionally. Bob and I have truly been lifted up by your prayers.
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